The first week of the Whole30 has not gone nearly as well as I would have liked it to. I knew this was going to be hard. What I didn’t know was that my mule-like stubbornness would kick in, transporting me back to the days of being a rebellious teenager who had to do something just because she was told not to.

You may have noticed that the date on my last post changed. I rolled back the start of the Whole30 to exclude my weekend thinking that a fresh Monday start would be what I needed. I also decided right off the bat that I would not being doing the Whole30 in its entirety. I could give up sugar. I could give up dairy. I could give up the scale. But I could not give them up together. The dual restriction was driving me crazy and in the words of my very loving and supportive husband “turning me into a bitch”. And he was right. So I decided that whole-fat dairy like heavy cream would be my exception.

Then I weighed in. My jeans felt looser and I felt better once I got over the initial murderous rage of giving up both cream and sugar in my coffee. And the numbers were pretty good. I decided to trust myself and give up the scale for the rest of the month per the Whole30 plan. And then I weighed in the next day. And the next day. And the day after that. I simply couldn’t step away from the scale and trust that my body would go in the right direction.

It’s been…challenging to say the least. And I’ve decided that, right now, the Whole30 isn’t for me. I’m going to continue to give up all grains for the next 30 days without any cheats and restrict my sugar intake, but I can’t do the Whole30 right now. I’m just not ready.

In other news, I tried my hand at gluten-free baking this weekend with a recipe for Gluten-Free Fudge-Like Brownies. Having procured coconut flour over the weekend, I was excited to try it out and was hoping to present my family with brownies just as good as the ones I used to make. It was pretty much a total disaster. Instead of a 8×8 pan, I used the 9×9 and the brownies spread out too thin. Instead of delicious fudgy brownies, I ended up with a thin brownie-topping. Still delicious, but nowhere near convincing my family that gluten-free baking could be just as good as regular baking. I’m sure I’ll be trying again in the near future, but for now, I guess I’ll stick with baking things I just won’t be able to eat.