I had given up. I knew it. You knew it. A long, slow suicide by processed foods and an unhealthy lifestyle. And the greater part of me was okay with that – what did I really have to live for? So, for the most part, I was content to skate through life merely existing from day to day.But today, after polishing off far too many Krispy Kreme donuts and paying for it with trip after trip to the bathroom, a light shone at the far edge of the horizon and for the first time since I learned that other job went to someone else, I felt hope.
Today, out of the blue, I got a phone call from a job I had applied to earlier in the year that went to someone else. This was a dream job and I knew that my chances of getting said job were slim to none because everyone and their uncle would want it and I didn’t have the necessary connections. But today, they called me back and told me that another position had opened up, and that they had my resume on file from earlier and would I be interested in interviewing for this position? Of course I said yes.
This makes me think that things aren’t nearly as hopeless as I had led myself to believe. There is hope for me yet and I really shouldn’t give up because tomorrow might bring something else new and expected. And I need to be alive and healthy to receive whatever tomorrow will bring – I don’t need to be wolfing down half a box of donuts, knowing full well that they won’t fill the emptiness inside me, that they won’t bring me any pleasure beyond the few seconds their sugar fills my mouth, and that they’ll probably make me sick.
Now. Right now, not tomorrow morning, or after supper, but right now, I’m turning things around. I know what to do – I’ve done it before. And the stuff I don’t know? I’m more than willing to learn and I’m fortunate enough to have the resources and wherewithal to do so. Detoxing is never fun, especially when you’ve been knowingly stuffing your body full of poison, but at this point, it’s a necessary evil. Back to the good life and all that it means – regular vitamin supplements, fish oil, healthy fats, learning to love cooking, vegetables and reacquainting myself with the power of the almighty egg. I’ll be adding some other things to this as well – no more sedentary lifestyle. Sitting kills – the research proves it. I’m getting up, I’m moving, I’m going to do push-ups, squats, and other body weight exercises, and when my car gets out of the shop, I’m going back to the gym to learn about deadlifts and HIIT.
I realized that it didn’t matter how many others was rooting for me and willing to help me, if I’d already given up. At my last weigh-in earlier this week, I was back to 225 lbs and my clothes were starting to get tight. But none of that mattered. I couldn’t bring myself to care about any of it as long as I thought things were hopeless. But there is hope on the horizon and now, I’m done giving up on myself.
I dislike bottled water – it’s excessively expensive and tossing all of those plastic bottles is hardly green. And don’t even think about reusing them, what with all the talk of BPA and leaching chemicals. I prefer to drink what comes out of my faucet, albeit in a more filtered form. I’ve been a fan of the Brita water pitchers forever, and just, in fact, upgraded to a larger model. So when the lovely folks over at Shoffee sent me a Barrier water filter system, the Premia, I was excited to see how it would compare to my good ol’ stand-by. Continue reading 