I haven’t been posting regularly because I’ve been depressed. It’s been a month since I was laid off from work and things have started to really get to me. And ironically, I don’t like to blog about being depressed. I’m not sure why – I guess I don’t want people to see that side of me, or judge me for whining. I’ve always been the kind of person who tries to keep her feelings to herself – I’m sure that’s a big part of it.

This weekend, I ate emotionally and I ate crap. And my weight, 211.6, reflects that. I was hoping that starting the Primal Blueprint 30-day Challenge would help get me back on track. But after a night spent depressed, not sleeping and crying intermittently, I was too worn out. I started out well, but quickly deviated from my good intentions.

This is it. This is the last of it. Tomorrow, come hell or high water, I will be back on track. I will go to the gym. I will eat right and quit eating crap. I will call the university to see about getting into intersession or late semester classes. I need to quit wallowing in my sadness, I need to quit letting my situation get to me. True, things could be better. But they could also be worse. Tomorrow I will accept things as they are and stop wishing that they could be otherwise. Losing my job sucked. It really sucked. But there is a bright side. And I have to find it.