Cupboard love, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is the love a pet has for the something that feeds it.
I have a love/hate relationship with myself and with food. Sometimes I eat because I don’t feel loved. Sometimes I eat because I’m unhappy.
Sometimes I only feel like I love myself when I eat. Hence, cupboard love.
This blog is my journey to find acceptance within myself – I want to be healthy. I want to be thinner. I want to be able to dress in the clothes I love. But most importantly, I want to be happy. That’s not asking too much, is it?
R once told me (actually, lectured me is more like it) that when we feel happy from food, it’s actually that we’ve tied the food to a happy childhood memory somewhere. And my eating it, we may not be reliving the memories, but the general feeling of comfort/happy.
Of course, I blew holes in his theory when I told him nobody ever made me homemade mac n cheese, nor did we eat the boxed kind, so why do i get such a food boner for it?
Nor does it explain why I broke down in tears when I calculated the Points for an order of Domino’s hot wings, and figured out I’d rarely be able to eat them. LOL.
No, of course it’s not too much to ask! You know that I know how tough it can be, and that fact sucks. I’m an emotional eater too & although I know better, old habits do die hard.
Sending happy, healthy vibes all the way from Australia xox