Monthly Archives: June 2010

The Midweek Report

Posted on June 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

How can it be Wednesday already, and yet, conversely, why isn’t it Friday yet?! I am never happy with the way time goes by me – I never have enough time for the things I want to do and the things I have to do take up too much time! Though I find it is like that for most people…

So far, this week has gone well. I brought a Kashi meal and ate with Lil Sis at her house on Monday. It was very nice, actually. I got to hang out with her boyfriend, her cats and her chocolate lab and snack on blueberries! I’ll definitely have to do that again – I really enjoyed it.

On Tuesday, I ran into a small snafu. My FIL has a big cook-off this weekend and as a result, our deep freeze is full of meat (he sells commercial smokers for Southern Pride). All of that meat meant that my Kashi meal were somewhere on the very bottom, and after about ten minutes of excavating with no success, I packed myself some raspberries, grabbed some peanut butter pretzels and ran out the door. So, I ended up having my husband grab a small chicken fiesta wrap from the local Co-op when he came to have lunch with me. All in all, I think I still did well.

Today, however, we’re going out for lunch. I still can’t get to my Kashi meals, and apparently we are also out of bread for his sandwiches. So, I’ll try to eat cheap and healthy and make sure that I hit the grocery store after boxing to restock for the rest of the week.

Overall, I think I have thus far handled this challenge pretty well. I have a big problem with being adaptive. When I can’t stick to my concrete plans, I tend to freak out and then I tend to fail. But this week, I’ve been able to adapt and I’ve tried to stick to the main points of my goal as much as possible.

In other news, the numbers on the scale aren’t going down, but they aren’t going up either. I’m down to 221.6 lbs according to this morning’s weigh-in and with the cardio added back into my exercise regiment, I’m hoping to see that number drop within the next week or so. I hit the Precor AMT machine yesterday for thirty minutes and pushed my heart rate up over 170! I wanted to do 45 minutes, but after 30, my left quad was getting sore, my form was suffering, and I was landing on my knee awkwardly and making it crunch. I’m hoping to work up to 45 minutes or even an hour of cardio a day, but right now, I’m happy to get in those 30 very important minutes and catch up on watching the news at the same time!

Today is boxing class -I have a mouthguard for sparring, new pink wraps that are better sized to my body and boxing gloves ordered! I think we’re working on controlled sparring today and I can’t wait! It still surprises me how much I look forward to boxing class, even when I know how hard it’s going to be. Even though halfway through, I always wonder why I’m doing this to myself, afterwards, the sense of accomplishment and overall feeling of well-being makes it absolutely worth it!

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Posted in exercise, food rules, goals, status

I’m Not the Fat Girl at the Gym

Posted on June 29, 2010 | 1 Comment

As I read other more and more other weight loss blogs, I invariably come across that post. You know the one – the fat girl/guy at the gym post. You’ve probably either written or read something similar yourself. And I have to admit, I can see how it could be very intimidating working out among all of the fit and hard bodies at the gym.

I work out at the local university’s Rec Center, so I’m inevitably surrounded by college students. College students with thin, perfect bodies who work out all the time and who, no doubt, look perfect in a bikini. And at first, I was a little intimidated, but not because of the way I looked, but more because I didn’t know how to use any of the equipment. Up until a few months ago, I’d never even been on a treadmill before. Also it’s not all young perfect college student – a lot of the professors, non-traditional (usually that means older) students, and community members work out at the Rec, so I usually feel like I fit in pretty well.

Last Monday, we started out with almost thirty people in boxing class – by the second day, we were down to about twenty, and yesterday we were down to only about 12 or so. So, last night, in the second hour of what was turning out to be a very hard and challenging boxing class, dripping sweat and breathing hard, I happened to look around the room at the other students. I had a moment where I realized that I was probably the oldest female in the class (there is one other guy who probably in his 50′s), and I was definitely the heaviest. And I started thinking about all of those posts I had read – those ones about being the fat girl at the gym and feeling self-conscious.

And I realized that every single one of us was dripping sweat and breathing hard. And when I had to take a break from intervals of jumping jacks and endurance rounds or take a drink of water, I wasn’t the only one needing a break or needing a drink of water. I was just like everyone else who had stuck with it. It didn’t matter how old I was, or how much I weighed – I was just like everyone else!

When I came home from class and told my husband, he told me it was because, even though, I had let myself go and gained all of this weight, I still had a solid core and underneath all of that fat, there was still substantial muscle. He told me that I would never be the fat girl at the gym, that I would never feel like the fat girl in a sea of fit bodies. He told me to never give up on my body, to not let my high blood pressure and high cholesterol make me feel like my health was beyond redemption because I was still healthy and getting better every day.

He’s right. No matter how much I weigh or what I look like, I’m never going to be the fat girl at the gym. I refuse to be ashamed of my body. Yes, I made mistakes and my body is the physical evidence of those mistakes, but I’m not beyond redemption and I am young and strong and this is a work in progress. I am the equal to anyone one else in there. I may not be able to do as many reps, or run as long or as far, but I’m getting there and someday, if I want to, I’ll be able to.

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This Week’s Goal – Brown Bag It

Posted on June 27, 2010 | 1 Comment

The facts:

  • I work full-time, usually putting in between 40-45 hours a week.
  • Eating out is not only expensive, but also tends to be unhealthy. It’s hard to control what you put in your body when someone else prepares it.
  • The obvious solution is to bring your own food, but this clearly takes both forethought and preparation.
  • Also, if you’re like me, and you like to get out of the office on your lunch hour, where can you go to eat?

So, this is the problem I will be tackling this week. My Lil Sis mentioned that between my husband and I, we must spend an awful lot of money on eating out for lunch. And you know, she’s right. Two people, eating one meal out every day for five day per week and four weeks per month…do the math, it adds up fast. And even if we eat at the local Co-op where the food tends to be healthy, it’s certainly isn’t cheap. And as we tighten our belts in every other aspect of our lives, we really can’t afford to spend so much money eating out for lunch anymore.

Yesterday I bought a Built NY lunch tote. While I don’t actually need it, I’m hoping that the brightly striped bag will visually inspire and remind me to pack and take my lunch every day this week. I’m also going to try to make meals out of what I already have in the house. I don’t want to go out of my way to buy bread and lunchmeat – I want to learn how to eat better with what I already have, because I am forever buying food and forgetting to eat it. I don’t know how many tins of salmon, chicken and tuna I have stashed around the kitchen.

As to where to eat, that’s a little more tricky. The local Co-op would probably permit me to bring some of my own food, provided I still also bought something there (a drink or a muffin). But I don’t think I would personally feel comfortable doing that. And there is always the local park – they have several covered shelters and when the weather is nice, they’re a good option. But it’s supposed to be 90+ degrees this week with the heat index over 100 and noon tends to be the hottest part of the day. I’m either going to have to suck it up and eat at my office, or drive to my husband’s office and eat with him. I was worried that we would end up spending in gas what we saved in food, but he usually drives to eat with me anyway, so that won’t be an issue.

So…a new week and a new goal. This week I’m going to pack my lunch every day and drink water from my reusable water bottles. I’m going to pack something healthy and I’m going to plan out my meal the night before so that I’m not throwing something in my lunchbag in the morning, or getting frustrated and deciding to just eat out instead. I’m going to get up earlier to make sure that I start off with a decent breakfast so that I don’t get hungry and give in to the urge to “just go grab something” and to make sure that I pack a full meal with a snack to eat before I hit the gym after work.

I’m not going to get an unsweetened iced tea from McDonalds – I’m staying away from fast food and the bakery to remove the temptation. I’m going to drink water to make sure I don’t get dehydrated. I’m going to eat with my husband or with Lil Sis on the days that we can eat together, either at one of our offices or at Lil Sis’s house. On the days that I can’t eat with him or Lil Sis, I’ll eat by myself and focus on eating mindfully and really enjoying my food. I’m going to remember to reward myself for my successes, but not allow those rewards to become their own downfalls. I will also remind myself that saving money, cutting calores, and eating better are their own rewards. However, if I indulge in a piece of cake, I won’t go to the bakery and get it myself – I’ll ask my husband to get it for me instead to avoid the source of my temptation. I’m not going to beat myself up if I fail, but I am going to do everything possible to ensure my success. And I’m going to remember that sticking with this new goal will mean that I have better control over what I put in my body, that I can more accurately gauge my caloric intake, and that I will be saving money that can be better put towards other things.

Time to plan out some meals for this week – this goal is going to take a lot of pre-planning and determination to see it all the way through the end, but I think I can do this.

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Posted in food rules, goals, overeating

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A Healthy Dose of Reality

Posted on June 26, 2010 | Leave a comment

So, I’m not going to do pi-yo this session. While I really wanted to, after seriously evaluating my body, my pain level, and after talking to my personal trainer about what would give me the most benefit, I decided to drop pi-yo, stick with boxing and fill in the rest of my schedule with at least three days of cardio per week. It’s been kind of a bitter pill for me to swallow – I really wanted to structure that taking two classes would have given me.

But, I think it’s the right decision, for me, at this time. Pi-yo builds long lean muscles but honestly, I work a lot of the same muscle groups in boxing and during my personal training sessions. I asked my personal trainer from what I would get the most benefit considering my current goal of losing weight, and he advised me that I really needed to stick with the cardio and continue to burn as many calories as possible. I’ll probably do another yoga or pilates class in the fall if I can get it to fit into my schedule – I really liked how yoga made me feel, how it eased my stress and reconnected my mind and body.

For now, though, the emphasis is back on cardio and I will have my heart rate monitor on every time I hit the machines to make sure I am working as hard as I can! I know a lot of conventional thought recommends keeping your heart rate low so you stay in that “fat-burning” zone, and if that works for you, I say go for it. For me, though, I’m all about pushing my heart rate as high and as hard as I can. I try to stay up in the 160-175 zone and concentrate on burning as many calories as I can!

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The Girl Who Cried Wolf

Posted on June 24, 2010 | Leave a comment

I have what some might consider an obsessive personality. When I get into something, I really get into it. I don’t like to do things halfway, whether it’s a new hobby, or a new job, or exercise. This doesn’t always work out for me, because the flip side of obsession is that I tend to get burned out. It also means that I can’t always tell when enough is too much.

I’ve been writing about pain a lot this week. I’ve been talking about my sore muscles on twitter, on Facebook, and on this blog. I know that exercising parts of the body that are used to sitting for eight hours a day is going to be uncomfortable. Sometimes even downright painful. And when you jump in with both feet and go from doing nothing, to doing cardio five days a week, to taking exercise classes and working with a personal trainer every day of the week, you expect to hurt a little more than usual.

I’m starting to worry, though, that I’ve overdone things and this soreness and pain is something more serious. I pulled my left quad in my first session with my personal trainer and it has been plaguing me ever since, especially in boxing class. You’d be surprised how often the quad muscles come into play! And that, combined with my extremely tight and sore hamstrings, kind of makes me wonder if I shouldn’t skip today’s class and take a rest day.

But, I just don’t know. I don’t know whether it’s actually that serious and this is my body’s way of weaseling out of the next six weeks of class. Because it’s a slippery slope that I’ve been down before. When I was doing cardio five days a week, I was fine when I went all five days. But if I missed a single day, then I was more likely to miss another day, then another until five days would pass without ever seeing the inside of the gym.

I don’t want to fall victim to that trap of my own self-making again. I know I’ve set a hard course for myself. This has even been challenging for my very fit, very athletic and ten years younger little sister. But how do I know when I do really need to take a break and when my body’s just crying wolf?

Potential injury on the one hand, the sedentary lifestyle that I know and loathe so well on the other – I’ve never been a middle ground kind of girl. As of right now, I fully intend to hit the gym today, whether it’s for the pi-yo class or just for 30 minutes of easy cardio. Not going at all is not an option for me, not when I know what lies down that path. Tomorrow I’ll ask my trainer for his opinion on my situation and I’ll probably do what he tells me. Until then, the weekend is only a day away and with it, two rest days. I just don’t know if I can make it ’til then.

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