It’s Been One Month

I can’t believe a whole month has gone by since I started Crossfit. I know haven’t lost any weight (though I’ve been trying to stay away from the scale as much as possible), but I can feel differences within my body. Other than the soreness (which is better, but still very much present), I’ve put on a considerable amount of muscle within the past month. That’s good…and bad. It’s good because building muscle mass means my body will burn more calories at rest, but bad because building muscle underneath a considerable fat layer doesn’t make you look sleek and sculpted. I’ve noticed that I look rather blocky, especially in my upper chest and arms.

Part of this is because I’ve fallen into the “but I worked out” trap. As in, I shouldn’t eat this ice cream, but I worked out. Or, I shouldn’t eat that cake, but I worked out. Yeah, my nutrition has not been what it needs to be. I start back on strict Primal/Paleo tomorrow, and I’m hoping to start seeing physical results in the way I feel and the way my clothes fit. It’s my own fault. It is a two part journey, and you cannot do the one without the other and expect to see results. Or at least I can’t.

So I’m hoping to celebrate my two month anniversary with a little more to show for it…and maybe a pair of Reebok Nanos. I can’t justify the cost right now, but maybe once I know that I’m in it for the long haul?

F U Box!

I love this place!

This was a big week for me – I introduced my husband to Crossfit (long story short, he threw up after the warmup), got my first RX, and defeated my fear of box jumps!

Everything I had read about box jumps was completely right – it is 90% mental. That 8 inch box looks ten feet high when it’s sitting there in front of you. My first try a few weeks ago was unsuccessful, and I ended up jumping onto a very short stack of weights (I think they were maybe four inches high). But this week, I stared at that box, I cussed at that box, and I trash talked that box. I wasn’t going to be defeated by an inanimate object, and when it came to jump, I took a deep breath…and landed on top of the box! It just got easier from there. I’ll be sticking with the 8 incher for a while, but it feels good just knowing that I did it!

Today, I RX’d my first workout. I found my 1-rep max deadlift at 98 lbs, and did the workout (on the minute for ten minutes – 5 deadlifts at 70% max weight (68lbs) followed by max double-unders) as prescribed! I also did my first double under (passing the rope beneath you twice per jump while jumping rope). It was a total accident, and I grinned like an idiot when I realized that I had finally done one.

It was a hard week, but a good week, and next week will be even better because I hope to start seeing evidence of my hard work as I add in the other half of the equation (diet). I’ll be starting back on strict Paleo/Primal on Monday, and hope to start looking and feeling better. Here’s to a great week, and I can’t wait to see what the next one will bring!

Happy Birthday to Me

I turned 33 yesterday. Birthdays are special to me. As a child, my mom used to make a big deal out of birthdays, and though I’ve grown up, it’s still a special day for me. On my birthday, part of me always thinks about all of the other people in the world with the same birthday, and that it’s special to every one of them to. But I also like to think about how, to everybody else, it’s just a normal day like any other day. That balance of special and normal – that’s my birthday in a nutshell.

I had a great birthday. Everyone at work made the day feel really special, and despite almost talking myself out of it, I did make it to Crossfit for a birthday workout. It was a hard workout – Elizabeth, which I’m told is a benchmark WOD (21-15-9 squat cleans and ring dips). I scaled 35lbs squat cleans and did box dips instead of ring dips to finish right at 11:11. And everyone was wonderful and said happy birthday to me!

Why did I go instead of taking the day off for my birthday? Because Crossfit is my birthday present to myself. I’d been wanting to try it for so long, but one thing after another got in the way (money, lack of a job, fear that I couldn’t *do* it). I’m in a position now where I *can* do it, and I mean that in every sense of the word. I can afford it, my husband and I both have jobs, and I’ve learned that I can do any WOD as long as I scale it to my ability. I love going to Crossfit. It’s challenging and interesting in a way that I’ve never found any other workout to be, not even boxing or kickboxing. The support and warmth I get from my fellow Crossfitters almost makes up for having my regular workout buddy (my little sister) move 20 hours away. I go at it as hard as I can, I come home exhausted and sometimes hurting, but I’m ready to get up and do it all over again the next day. Since I start 2.5 weeks ago, I’ve been making it four days a week. I don’t even pay attention to the number on the scale. Instead I measure my progress in my strength and ability. It’s amazing to feel strong and capable again. When I deadlift 55bs 20x in a row, I feel like a total badass.

My birthdays are milestones. Last year at this time, I was hopeless, unemployed, and had just learned that my husband was losing his job. I was moving my little sister (and best friend) halfway across the country and losing my workout partner. I had no motivation to go to the gym, and I was ready to end it all. I talked seriously about suicide to my husband. I had nowhere to go but up, but at the time, I saw no way out of the pit I was sinking into.

This year, I have a job, my husband has a job, and most importantly, I have hope. I don’t know whether it’s circumstances, or being properly medicated, but I feel extremely optimistic about everything. I’m at my heaviest, but I’ve stopped giving up. When this date comes back around in a year, I will not be the person I am now. I will be better and stronger, and I will come to appreciate my body for what it is capable of, not for what I think when I look in the mirror. I may even come to like what I see in the mirror. Already, I am noticing a disparity between how I feel about my body when I bust out a WOD, and how I feel when I see myself in the mirror. It’s going to take time, and I may not be all the way there by next August, but I’m going to get there. I can see the way there now. Happy birthday to me!

Row Rabbit, Run Rabbit

Ready for today’s torture, I mean WOD.

I hate running. I hate running almost as much as I like rowing. Today’s WOD combined running and rowing for a special kind of torture. I scaled 1000m rowing/400m running, and came in at 11:28. Part of me feels like I could have done more, but that’s the part of me that’s looking back after the fact. The part of me that remembers the wobbly legs and gasping for breath thinks I did just fine. I also need to remember that I’ve only been doing this for 2.5 weeks. Baby steps.

Though it wouldn’t hurt me to run a little more. I think I’m going to try rowing 2x a week, and running 2x a week for warmup, instead of rowing every day. Every little bit should help and there is no reason that I can’t work up to running 300m.

Reebok Nano

I don’t need another pair of shoes. I don’t even need another pair of shoes to workout in – my Vibram FiveFingers are fine for Crossfit. But…after reading that a shipment of Reebok Nanos were coming to the box where I work out, I couldn’t help but go to the Reebok site to check them out. ZOMG, they are fully customizable, and can come in every color combination imaginable. It is unadulterated crack to a self-described shoe addict like myself.

I call these my “Fanta, Fanta, Don’t You Wanna” pair.

Seriously, I could do this all day, and spend soooooo much money at this site.

I call these “Red Hots” after that spicy little candy from my childhood.

On the other hand, my birthday is this week…